First run -

There are times that you start to take action... However in doing so you have to admit that something unimaginable is happening.  For me, this time, it is that my father has been diagnosed with CLL. That is not the new part, the new part is that he is now working toward having a treatment option, and when you start to treat something that is incurable, well... it just resonates that we are no longer allowed to call it "cancer lite".

My dad is 70. For all that it is, 70 is not bad... unless someone is talking about YOUR dad. My dad looks young, he has spent his whole life running.... exercising, running, refereeing football, golfing, working running....
He would appear to have been running his whole life to ensure that health would not be the issue for him. Son of a severe diabetic and brother to siblings that died from health related complication also cancer... i can only imagine how he spends time now thinking.. what a crock. how is it that i ran, and ate well (most of the time) and worked hard, and amassed the funds to live a great life in retirement... and now, the clock is ticking... loudly reminding us all there is one.

At 39, i struggle to imagine a place without Bob.  A time when a Michigan football game is playing and I can't call to harass him about a call on a play or mutually agree that "We" beat ourselves with penalties. I can't imagine my almost 7 year old daughter won't go to college with Pop Pop rooting her on or at least making sure that she gets a single handicapped room with a combination lock on the door like he did for me (soley to ensure i was on a substance free floor).  I cannot think about Susan, my step mother living alone without him. And so ... i refuse to.